Tuesday, January 30, 2007


When a child's parents allow him/her to do more things than other children, is he/she more free? I believe the answer is no. This merely indicates that the child's parents have a different raising method in their minds than most other parents. It might indicate that the parents are more open-minded towards allowing their child to experiment and experience things. But it doesn't say anything about the child's freedom.

Freedom, as I see it, is about having the choice to do a certain action, not about doing the action itself. When people fight for freedom, they fight to have the choice, to have control. I believe freedom is revealed when people disagree about the action. For example, if a child wants to do something, and his parents think he/she shouldn't, and yet he/she gets to do this thing, then that can be called a free person.

It might be trivial that a child has little freedom, but what about adults? Logically, as people grow up, they should be given more freedom gradually, until they get it completely. There's no clear line as to when this full freedom should be given, but it's obvious that this can only happen when the person can make conscious choices and can handle the consequences of any action he/she does.

This is one of the situations where I see how deep sexism is rooted in our societies. Even though it's a well-known fact that females mature 4 or 5 years earlier than males, we find that most males have full freedom before they reach 20, while most females never get it at all. It saddens me beyond words when I see how lucky a girl in her twenties is considered when her parents allow her to do more things than other girls because they're open-minded, and I cannot help but wonder: How many great minds do we have to lose to oppression and sexism before we realize how silly and stupid this whole thing is and decide to do something about it?


Lemon Drops said...

Man you're delusional if you think that most males get their full Freedom before they reach 20. Again we create our own social constraints that limit our own Freedoms and it's almost the same for Guys and Girls.

alison said...

Girls and guys are NOT equal in this society, this world.
yes we create our own social constraints that limit us but these social contraints are made by YOU and ur parents and ancestors.

Im a woman and i know for a fact that we get judged WAY more and too often than you boys do.
There is a social standard to how a woman should look, Dress, act...to be seen a respectable Lady.

Innocence in Men is seen as Weak and naiive, while Innocence in Women is seen as Pure, Cute and Clean, almost sacred in some cultures.

So whats more treasurable?
Innocence?? or Experience??

Q said...

Are you suggesting that what people think of you is even remotely as important as living your life to the fullest and being all you can be? I seem to remember a time when black people and white people were not equal, when clergymen were considered superior, or scientists heretics. Social constraints have always been there, and the only ones who lose are those who bow their heads in submission. If people were to let themselves be controlled by what their society thinks appropriate, the sun would still be revolving around the earth, and we'd be burning witches at the stake everyday.

alison said...

No my friend,
Im not suggesting that what people think is more important than who i potentially can be.
However, i choose to Compromise the social constraints and my own individuality as a woman, this is by Choice. Yes, you can call it Fear and call it bowing Down or loosing... But at the end of the day, there are people in my society who are traditionalists whom i've Grown to love and treasure very dearly.
Many people dont run off to the sunsets and seek themselves and go all out because they simply cant Bear to see their families hurt.
So i dont see it as loosing or bowing down at ALL,

We all need to learn to compromise, we cannot just switch the society around in one generation or one click. Ive compromised my part here, and my children will not have to compromise as much and soon enough, we will change the world but Slowly and Petiently, NOT Forcefully, because if people are NOT ready for it, it will just create more CONFLICT.

Society we live in is not perfect. But we've ought to stop fighting and conflicting and flip around 180 degrees.
Compromise or you are just adding fumes to the fire.

A Stubborn and Angry man is at the end of the day, the one who gains nothing.

What do you think?

Q said...

I see your point of view. However, I think there are some things I need to clear up. Firstly, there's a big difference between choosing to compromise and being forced into it by threats and emotional or physical abuse. Secondly, don't you think that wasting the potential of generations to stop some people from getting hurt is a bit of an unfair trade? Noting, of course, that those who get "hurt" the most are usually males who never had to deal with the whole issue to begin with. Thirdly, and most importantly, I think the problem at hand is not one that can be solved through compromises. It's a mix of social pressure, religious sexism, narrow-mindedness, and male superiority complex. So, while compromising is the easy way out, it doesn't help much since, in the minds of those for whose sake you're compromising, you're doing what you're "supposed" to be doing all along. And unfortunately, this ideology is the one that tends to be passed down to next generations.